The department of motherland security homeland security's
panic-now! scale of terror
| Low | Do you really expect us to use this level? |
| Guarded | We're scheming something... watch this space, and keep reporting on your neighbours |
| Elevated | We need a fascist law passed! Tell everyone to panic about terror! |
| High | We need to execute someone without trial! Tell the public to really panic! |
| Severe |
This alert ostensibly not brought to you by Fox News, a wholly owned subsiduary of the White House, a wholly owned subsiduary of Shell Oil plc
Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting should be your top news-check
